On hold

That’s probably the best way of describing how I feel.
On hold and restless.
I spent some time in the back garden this afternoon. Sunbathing helps me relaxing. Not today though. My brain does not want to switch off.
There is a lot of pressure around me, haunting me day and night. I cannot sleep more that 6 hours per night, it does not matter how tired I may be.
There is a lot of disappointment too. I am disappointed with myself and with quite a few things that happened in the past weeks.
The only thing I am sure about is that I need to start all over again.I need changes, better if drastic. I need a different life from the one I am living now.