Spring is coming!! :)

This is the fourth day in a row that the weather is wonderful. It is sunny, it is warm, no wind, no clouds. Every day I wake up with the feeling that spring is getting closer and closer.

Yesterday I decided to take a few hours off from my boring and repetive problems.
So I put comfortable shoes on, took my camera and went exploring and picturing this early spring.
After an hour, I gave up with taking pictures. Flowers and blossoms are not yet that interesting. Trees still don’t have young green leaves, their branches are still brown and bare. They may have some kind of little green “lumps” here and there, but not more than that. Cherry and peach trees are covered with flowers. From the distance they look like gigantic pink or white candyfloss.
And flowers.. well, daffodils seem to be the only flower available right now. They are cute but it is the same flower over and over again in every garden.
I put my camera back into its case and concluded that for that day I was only meant to enjoy the sun and the warm weather.
I kept on walking around quiet streets, finding myself whistling and old song of the 50’s, and returning smiles to strangers that crossed my way.

I ended up walking in Southpark, my favourite park. There was lot of youth around.
From what I could see, favourite activities were: singing/playing guitar, sleeping, reading, playing (rugby or football).. Considering the number of bare male chests around, sunbathing was a popular activity too (it is 10 degrees Celsius.. But that’s England too).
I walked by a group of guys, they were playing what I renamed “lazy football”: no one was putting much effort in running after the ball and kicking it seemed to be a violent demonstration of force (so better avoid it!).
One of the guys looked at me and said with malicious voice “.. G’afternoon….” And I looked at him for not more than two seconds. “Hello young English man with white trainers and grey shorts. And hello to your naked and strong chest. You are quite good looking, you seem promising. I don’t quite like you running around the ball with a can of Stella in your hand though. How old can you be? 22? Yeah…. I am sorry, you are too young for me!”

Of course I did not say a single one of those words. They came all in once in my mind during those couple of seconds that I looked at him. I replied with a smile and walked away, back to my way home.I manage to take more pictures.. there is always a better light with the sunset!

Four out of six

I decided to invite some friends for dinner last weekend.
I love cooking and I love having friends around.
Anyways, I love cooking not only cos it can satisfy all of my senses but also because I found it a very relaxing and therapeutic activity.
Considering that I am living quite stressful weeks, I thought that a couple of cooking sessions could help me! When cooking I switch off all of my connections to the ugly, angry world and I take refuge in the kitchen, my limbo. No pressure, no rush, no screaming, complaining or shouting.. nothing but me my cooking books and a variety of pots, pans, utensils and chopping boards.
So there I was, planning a three course meal: few starters, one main course (lasagne) and chocolate cake for dessert.
And I invited a few people. Once they all agreed to join the feast, I realised that I was the only one who knew all of them. They didn’t know each other. “ I will call it ‘Dinner with strangers’”, I thought.

And it started right in this way. There was an initial feeling of “Who is that one?” or “I already forgot his name!” or “He is good looking..!” but then good music, good wine and of course, good food, changed the dinner with strangers into a night out with friends.

One of my friends at some point, came out and said “Hey, the world tonight is sitting around this table!” and he was right! There was Europe (me and a Spanish guy), Asia (well, one was born in France but has Vietnamese parents and the other was born in the UK but has Pakistani background), Africa (my Moroccan friend) and America (my Brazilian friend). We were missing Oceania and Antarctica, but still, I think we did well!And that is exactly what I like about my friends: none of them comes from the same country. Maybe continent, but that’s fine.

The best job in the world

Great Barrier Reef, Australia. Snorkeling, diving, sunbathing, meeting people and write a blog. That was more or less the job description.
The state of Queensland has advertised it all over the world, with a final figure of 34,000 (yes, thirty-four thousands) applications.
I am one of them.
Yeap, I took a video of myself, uploaded to the website and sent emails to whoever could vote for me. That was the application process. (By the way: the website crashed few days before the deadline).

So, me and my flatmate, on a grey, wet, typical English midweek afternoon, we went to a fishshop and recorded the video. It took us one hour and a half, more than 20 takes and eventually we had that one minute video that was going to be my application form.
I was exhausted at the end of the recording session.

Needless to say that I have not been shortlisted. I suppose it would have been easier to win the lottery.
Anyways, enjoy the video and the out takes!

End of a friendship

It happens in life. And it just happened to me.
It happens that you have to close doors and leave people behind you.
It is for you own safety and well-being.
It happens because you had enough of lies, months of lies.
Because you cannot get over the disappointment caused by two of your closest friends (they are three in total).
It happens because you cannot forget and you don’t seem able to forgive. Or maybe you don’t want to forgive because a year later, it still hurts.

I have been so angry, so mad at them. They deceived me, hide from me and accused me without giving me the chance of simply explaining, not even defending myself. And they judged without knowing, pointing their fingers at me and saying “Guilty! Capital punishment!”. Like in the Middle Ages, during the Inquisition.
And every time I asked for explanations and tried to sit there, take time to talk and understand.. well, I was told that it was all going on in my head and it was my problem. And they were not available for help.

But you cannot lie for the rest of your life. And once I discovered the truth, one of the two even denied it. Just like when a child is caught eating chocolate: hands and mouth are covered with the sweet treat but still he would say “No! I didn’t eat the chocolate!”. I felt sorry for my friend, for her incapacity of admitting what kind of person she really is (or likes to be for the time being?).

The other tried to sew up the tear but I always felt she was bringing in pretexts rather than grounded points of view. (When there is a lack of trust, whatever the other may say will always sound fake).

The funny thing is that I don’t feel different, I mean, I don’t feel I am missing something/someone. I feel like they stopped existing long time ago.It is all over now. Let’s turn the page.

Dating? No thanks!

It all happened a few weeks ago.. Which means that it took me quite a while to digest one of the most painful- and somehow embarrassing experiences of my life.

Lets make a preliminary statement: I hate dating.
According to my English dictionary a date is defined as “an appointment, esp. with a member of the opposite sex”. Speaking rationally yes, it is an appointment with someone (opposite sex or not).
But if you have a closer look at what happens, the questions asked, I would rather define as “an appointment between two people, where you try to understand if the one in front of you could be a good partner”.
I have an instinctive rejection to it. I find it embarrassing, a waste of time and energy.
I suppose my previous negative experiences on the subject of dating, are playing quite a part.
I prefer “lets just be friends and if something else has to happen well, there is plenty of time”. Take it easy, in short.

And here the foul deed.
As you do, I went out with friends one night. Beers, chats beers, laughs, beers and then I met Tim. I thought he sounded and looked interesting and gave him my number.
Days went by until I received a call. “Hello? Nadia? Hi, it’s Tim, we met last week, and I am the chess guy!” (he laughs). “Oh, hi, how are you?” “Do you remember me?? That’s great!!!” (and he laughs again). We spoke for a bit, usual questions like “what have you been up to” “how was your weekend” etc.
And then, he came out saying “I like your voice on the phone.. mmm…”, “I really like your laugh.. mmm…”
At that moment I thought that it was a bit weird. Now, I wouldchange ‘weird’ with ‘psychopathic’.
Cut the story short, he asked me if we wanted to meet for a tea. And I said yes. I don’t know why I said that word; it was not the one I wanted to pronounce. I did not want to meet him. At all. But by the time by brain was trying to find a logic explanation to such unpredictable answer, Tim was already telling me where, when and what time.
As soon as I hang up the phone I told myself “This is not a date, you are meeting someone for a chat and that is all about it”. I was SOOOOO wrong.
That day I turned up late and told him I had to leave pretty soon to meet a friend of mine. I know that lying is not a good thing, but I considered it as a self-defence move.
“How would you like your tea?” “No milk, no sugar, just a slice of lemon, thanks.” “Very continental, I like it..” and he smiled at me looking straight into my eyes. There I knew it was a date and a chill run down my spine.
I wanted to run away but I couldn’t. So I spent the following hour listening to him, pretending I was interested and asking questions for the sake of filling the air with words. Two things were really embarrassing: him keeping on paying compliments to me (I like your necklace, I like your top etc) and realising after the first half hour that he was definitely the wrong guy. He likes shopping and perfumes (I don’t), he likes Dutch art (I find too still and plain), he believes magic and the power of stones (I only manage to reply that I found it and interesting subject…).. I started feeling very uncomfortable, I needed fresh air and just wanted to get out of there and get away from him. Some kind of pressure started building up and after having checked my watch for three times in less than 10 minutes I said “ Sorry but I have to go now”.
On our way out he asked me “I will see u on Sunday then?” “Sure! Bye!”. Why on Earth did I say that??? I am supposed to connect brain and mouth when I speak! But then I realised that my brain switched off as soon as the conversation with Tim started to languish.
Sunday I texted him saying that I had a very bad hangover, too much to drink on Saturday. Sorry.
He did not reply. I felt relieved.