Dating? No thanks!

It all happened a few weeks ago.. Which means that it took me quite a while to digest one of the most painful- and somehow embarrassing experiences of my life.

Lets make a preliminary statement: I hate dating.
According to my English dictionary a date is defined as “an appointment, esp. with a member of the opposite sex”. Speaking rationally yes, it is an appointment with someone (opposite sex or not).
But if you have a closer look at what happens, the questions asked, I would rather define as “an appointment between two people, where you try to understand if the one in front of you could be a good partner”.
I have an instinctive rejection to it. I find it embarrassing, a waste of time and energy.
I suppose my previous negative experiences on the subject of dating, are playing quite a part.
I prefer “lets just be friends and if something else has to happen well, there is plenty of time”. Take it easy, in short.

And here the foul deed.
As you do, I went out with friends one night. Beers, chats beers, laughs, beers and then I met Tim. I thought he sounded and looked interesting and gave him my number.
Days went by until I received a call. “Hello? Nadia? Hi, it’s Tim, we met last week, and I am the chess guy!” (he laughs). “Oh, hi, how are you?” “Do you remember me?? That’s great!!!” (and he laughs again). We spoke for a bit, usual questions like “what have you been up to” “how was your weekend” etc.
And then, he came out saying “I like your voice on the phone.. mmm…”, “I really like your laugh.. mmm…”
At that moment I thought that it was a bit weird. Now, I wouldchange ‘weird’ with ‘psychopathic’.
Cut the story short, he asked me if we wanted to meet for a tea. And I said yes. I don’t know why I said that word; it was not the one I wanted to pronounce. I did not want to meet him. At all. But by the time by brain was trying to find a logic explanation to such unpredictable answer, Tim was already telling me where, when and what time.
As soon as I hang up the phone I told myself “This is not a date, you are meeting someone for a chat and that is all about it”. I was SOOOOO wrong.
That day I turned up late and told him I had to leave pretty soon to meet a friend of mine. I know that lying is not a good thing, but I considered it as a self-defence move.
“How would you like your tea?” “No milk, no sugar, just a slice of lemon, thanks.” “Very continental, I like it..” and he smiled at me looking straight into my eyes. There I knew it was a date and a chill run down my spine.
I wanted to run away but I couldn’t. So I spent the following hour listening to him, pretending I was interested and asking questions for the sake of filling the air with words. Two things were really embarrassing: him keeping on paying compliments to me (I like your necklace, I like your top etc) and realising after the first half hour that he was definitely the wrong guy. He likes shopping and perfumes (I don’t), he likes Dutch art (I find too still and plain), he believes magic and the power of stones (I only manage to reply that I found it and interesting subject…).. I started feeling very uncomfortable, I needed fresh air and just wanted to get out of there and get away from him. Some kind of pressure started building up and after having checked my watch for three times in less than 10 minutes I said “ Sorry but I have to go now”.
On our way out he asked me “I will see u on Sunday then?” “Sure! Bye!”. Why on Earth did I say that??? I am supposed to connect brain and mouth when I speak! But then I realised that my brain switched off as soon as the conversation with Tim started to languish.
Sunday I texted him saying that I had a very bad hangover, too much to drink on Saturday. Sorry.
He did not reply. I felt relieved.